


Hetalia Quotes

by blaineboi



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Hetalia, This list excludes a Beautiful World and also the new new season, Yeah pretty much every country is here, nice, quotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 21:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7122829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blaineboi/pseuds/blaineboi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A compilation of quotes from all our favorite APH Nations! America: "Winter can suck my jingle bells!" Italy: "PASTAAAAAAA!~" Romano: "Eat lead, you potato sucking bitch!" Germany: "No one's going to believe me when I tell them that you died making pasta in the desert." England: "Am I Catholic... or Protestant? God, I don't know."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hetalia Quotes

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N: This is, by far, my most popular post on Fan Fiction, which disappoints me because it means people are more interested in the canon than my fan works. It’s understandable, but it still stings, especially when I only posted this shit in the first place as a joke. Enjoy.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Also, none of these are really in order... just saying...**

America: "Winter can suck my jingle bells!"

Italy: "PASTAAAAAAA!~"

America: "I feel like we're summoning the devil!"

Italy: "PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME I'M TO YOUNG TO DIE AND WHAT IF I DON'T DIE AND I'M FORCED TO LIE HERE WOUNDED IN A PUDDLE OF MY OWN BLOOD? PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME I DON'T WANT TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"

Romano: "Eat lead, you potato sucking bitch!"

Germany: "No one's going to believe me when I tell them that you died making pasta in the desert."

England: "Am I Catholic... or Protestant? God, I don't know."

Germany: "I'll never understand Catholics..."

America and Russia: USA: "Russia! What are you gonna do dude?" Russia: "I'm going to do the fighting?"

Russia: "I know my ideas are best because otherwise I'd kill them." ^J^

Canada: "I'm Canada!"

England: "No one asked you, cheesey monkey!"

Austria: "You are an ass." *between smacks*

Russia: "KOLKOLKOLKOLKOL~"

China: "China take all. You can go home now."

Canada: "Why doesn't anyone remember me?"

England: "I'll have the silkiest hair in the whole world!"

France: *smack~ smack~ smack~ smack~ smack~.*

Switzerland: "Man up or I'll beat you with my peace prize!"

Estonia: (mockingly to Russia) "Oh, you're so tough. Next you'll try to pick a fight with Haiti."

Spain: "YOU PEED ON THE FLOOR?"

Lithuania: "POLAND! YOU ARE A TRAITOR AND A BAD FRIEND!"

Poland: "Like, I have to hang up, cause I totally have to make a pee-pee."

Sealand: "My name is Sea-kun, desu yo~."

Belarus: "If you marry me then our souls will be bonded for all eternity."

America: "I say we attack Italy first, because they can't drive and are usually drunk."

Germany and Italy: Germany: "Friends? Ja, this could work... We don't have to kiss, do we?" 

Italy: "Nope! Not unless you want to."

Italy: "You can order me around and I'll disappoint you!"

Italy: "Hey Japan, want to see my butt?" Japan: "Not if you paid me mirrion dorrar."

Korea: "Quotes were made in Korea, you know!"

Prussia: "Look at my soldiers and their mean faces! I taught them that face!"

Canada: "Maple... leaf..."

England: "Busby's chair. Anyone who sits in it will die a swift and likely painful death. Except, apparently, for Russia..."

China: "SUCK BALL!"

France: "Duh, he is Canada. I recognize him from his sexy hair which is so much like my own. Just not as good."

America: "Duh, I'm the hero, everybody knows that!"

Austria: "Forget EVERYTHING!"

Germany: "So I captured Italy, but all I hear is the singing and the laughing and weird accents."

Romano: "MUSTACHE~!"

Lithuania: "Oh great and powerful Russia! I brought to you some hot tea!"

Poland: "Risking my life for European politics would make me gassy."

Russia: "I hide dark secret that no one will guess because of my sweet face."

Italy: "I think we should gather under the white flag!"

America: "Okay. So I've, like, designed a really sweet attack plan that I'm calling Attack Plan  
Alpha, like 'Alpha Dog.' WOOF!"

Belarus: "Big Brother, why you leave me here with Double D means double dumb? Hurry up and come out or I'll find you...~"

Russia: "HEAVENS TO BETSY! What strange and terrifying news is this?"

Germany: *sighs* "I once killed a man with his own mustache and a grape."

Italy: "Germany! Germany! There was a pretty girl so I hit on her, but it runs out the pretty girl was France in disguise!"

Japan: "Sir! I respond Japanese way! Say one thing, but mean something erse compretery opposite, rike, 'I'rr think about it.' Rie to them!"

China: "Kawaii aru~!"

France: "Ohnhonhonhon hon honhonhon~..."

Prussia: "Hey Austria! It must suck balls to have Silesia taken by force, huh?"

America: "I'll do what I always do best! And that means... I'M THE HERO!"

Germany: "If you keep talking like this I ill have no choice but to shoot you in the head!"

Italy: "That's an easy one, sir! Surrender immediately, kiss their butts, sing, eat, and go to bed!" Germany: "THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO TO ME!"

Korea: "China's breasts belong to Korea!"

Japan: "Me no rikey."

America: "CHINA! I CHOOSE YOU!"

Poland: "Stop being such a betch, Sweden."

Russia: "VODKAAAAA!~"

Romano: "WAAH! WHAT THE CRAPOLA HAPPENED HERE?"

Germany: "How the holy fuhrer did he get into my bed?"

Lithuania: "POLAND-O!"

Finland: "Well then, I'll tell you a funny joke while we're waiting in line! That way, I'm guaranteed to get a laugh out of it!"

Switzerland: "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD!"

Estonia: "LATVIAAAAAA!"

Italy: "The other day, I had an extremely disgusting pizza... England made it."

Germany: "Germany recognizes his friend Italy!"

Spain: "Hey, why don't you say something Russia? They'll stop fighting if you go over and step in."

China: "I knew that fortune cookie I had this morning was a bad lie!"

Italy: "But I'm hot and I'm Italian and all the chicks dig it!"

Germany: "I will punch you in the throat!"

America: "I'll be in command so you can wear all the colors of my flag! All heroes wear red,  
white, and blue!"

Prussia: "West won't drink beer!"

Japan: "I am very preased to meet you."

France: "AW CRAP MY FISH!"

China: "AI-YAH!"

Poland: "They'll shoot right over out heads!"

Finland: "Aah... Christmas is coming! *gets Pictofied* HO HO HO!"

Germany: "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!"

Russia: "I am Russian, I know everything about snow."

England: "Bring on the fire, bring on the hell... set everything ablaze so that no trace  
remains..."

Italy: "I know I'm not strong, but I'm cute!"

France: "It's a cloak, non?"

Prussia: "BEER! BEER!"

Poland: "Yo wassup playa?"

China: "Panda~!"

Austria: "He's probably mass-producing white flags as we speak!"

Sealand: "Sometimes I ride the goat while I'm cleaning!"

Ukraine: "Oh no! I suck!"

America: "For realz, y'all, Japan and I are homies!"

England: "You wine-loving tool!"

Italy: "Captain! What's happening? This is mutiny! It's mutiny!"

Austria: "I'll express how angry I am with this piano."

Japan and China: "Konnichiwa, I am Japan, where the sun rises. Hello China, where the sun  
sets." China: "Well that wasn't very nice!"

England and Russia: England: (trying to summon a demon) "I summon thee, from faraway lands! Come forth!" Russia: (pops out from the ground) "You called?"

Romano: "Suck my balls, you stupid potato-eater!"

Russia: "When I see all your stupid faces I think of how fun it will be to pound them into dust."

America: "BRITIAN TOTALLY GOT A STAR STUCK IN HIS HEAD! THAT'S SO BADASS!"

Romano and Italy: Roma: "Could you say something nice about me for once?" Italy: "..." Romano: "I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"

England: "Why are you always such a damn wanker?"

America: "You Frenchies just love to hate us! Why don't you go back to making statues of hot  
green chicks!"

Canada: "Those stupid hosers!"

Germany: "You've got it backwards! Backwards! Hurry up and throw it! If you don't hurry up and throw it, you'll go "boom"!"

Italyand Japan: Italy: [On the phone with Japan] "Listen to this! I woke up earlier than Germany for once!" Japan: "Are you serious? We must cerebrate this occasion with a dish of red bean rice!"

[All the Allied Nations]: CHINA, YOU’RE A CHICK???

**Aaaaaand...my favorite...**

Italy: "It's been a while since I slept with you, Romano."  
Romano: "Shut up! You should have at least two beds in your place!"  
Italy: "How weird... I usually sleep together with Germany and Japan."  
Romano: _[Grabs Italy's throat]_ "You still get along with them?!"  
_[Repeatedly bashes his head into his brother's]_  
Italy: _[Gasping for air]_ "Bro, I can't breathe. Bro, I can't breathe!"  
_[Cut to Germany's office; his phone is ringing. He picks it up]_  
Italy: "Germany, save me! I'm on my bed and my brother is- ow!"  
Romano: "Not there!"  
Italy: "It's stuck! OW!"  
Romano: "Put down the phone, you fool!"  
Italy: "TAKE IT OUT!"  
Romano: "Put it down!"  
_[Line goes dead]_  
Germany: _[Slightly disturbed]_ "His brother's... stuck..."ow"... take it out..." _[Suddenly realizes what must have happened in horror]_  
_[Germany bursts into Italy's room]_  
Germany: "Italy, are you okay! What's going-!"  
_[He realizes the brothers' signature hair curls are merely tangled with each other]_  
Italy: "Germany, you're late!"


End file.
